School For Young Blood

As 2020 quickly comes to an end, and we approach the six month mark of living on this land in rural Oregon, I realize I have not written a blog post update since we arrived here. If the first half of the year could be compared to stepping on the gas pedal, the second half was definitely hitting the brakes.

We went from traveling thousands of miles, being in different locations nearly every day, and not knowing where we would spend the night… to digging in the dirt, rarely getting in the car, talking long walks, and cooking almost all our meals— overnight. It was a radical shift, and a very welcome one.

We arrived in late July as the raspberries in the garden were fully ripe and the blueberries were just beginning. We learned the routines to take care of the animals, we weeded the garden, we floated on our tubes in the creek. We got to know the little town of Vernonia, frequenting the darling library, the fresh Mediterranean restaurant, and picked up supplies at the hardware store whenever needed. We knew the beautiful summer weather would end sooner than we liked, so we invited friends and family out for socially-distanced, outdoor visits. We installed a zip line, and a slack line, and enjoyed many meals on the picnic tables outside. We feasted on bounty from the garden — peas, cucumbers, salad greens, and peppers. We ate so many berries right off the bushes (both those in the garden, and those growing wild around the property), that very few made it inside for use in recipes and meals.

As fall started creeping closer, we enjoyed many projects around the farm with Larry, the owner and steward of the land: digging up the hills of potatoes, stacking firewood, trimming the goat’s hooves, and cookouts over the fire pit. September was a beautiful month, but also challenging to be outside for much of it, as wildfire smoke choked the air and made it dangerous to breathe.

The girls tackled a research project in the fall to learn all about this area – including where our water comes from, where the trash goes, what peoples were here before us, what animals and birds call this home, etc. The research took us into the Vernonia historical museum, deep into the stacks of the library, and watching locally-made videos of the catastrophic floods this area has endured.

We have loved being with all of the animals – both wild and domestic. The two donkeys, Rosie and Daisy, were let loose in the (fenced) yard a lot this summer, and we enjoyed seeing them wander around and come up and check out what we’re working on. The two dogs, Jai and Surya, loved having lots of company outside and jump around enthusiastically as we all head out on walks around the property. The two goats, Gunther and Mavis, happily eat our compost and enjoy playing “king of the log” with the kids — where they try to see who can push the other off the log. The two cats, Sukha and 007, are warming up to us, will let us pet them, and often leave half-eaten “presents” for us in the barn.

This summer, we watched the giant orange crayfish on the creek bottom, and kingfishers dart down the path of the water. This fall, we enjoyed over three months of salmon spawning in the creek. Some days we counted over 12 from one spot of the river. We took daily walks to watch them dig their nests, fight over females, and ultimately sink to the bottom or get washed ashore. We had the good fortune of spotting two river otters eating the salmon early in the season. Later in the fall, two bald eagles arrived and we see them almost daily, often from the large windows by the farm table or even from bed. We had a visit from a bat that somehow got indoors. Parker loved catching snakes and lizards. We’ve seen newts and salamanders, hummingbirds and dragonflies, and now lots of amazing mushrooms sprouting in the damp soil.

Our months have been punctuated with periods of quarantine so that we could visit indoors with family. Kendall’s parents helped us celebrate our birthdays and anniversary in September, and the kids got to stay with them for several extra days. We took one trip up to Seattle to visit Mark’s uncle Charlie, and we saw them both again around Christmas.

In November, the girls got a volunteer job with a company down the road called “Run! Day Camp for Dogs.” They go three days a week and help with whatever needs to be done: unloading the dogs from the vans they arrive from Portland, hiking with the dogs out in the forest, picking up poop, feeding dogs that are staying overnight, hosing off the muddy dogs at the end of the day and drying them off before putting them back in the vans to Portland. They love the time with the dogs, the other employees and owner, and having real responsibilities. We’ve enjoyed their rattling off breeds and stories each evening over dinner.

As the weather has turned rainy, we’ve switched from building fires in the fire pit, to the cozy wood stove which keeps the the living room extra toasty. We’ve been working on puzzles, learning new games, watching movies, and enjoying the long evenings.

The longer we are here, the more roots we feel like we are putting down into this property and town. We have been offering our energy, ideas, and labor to help Larry finish several projects including completing a bathroom in the barn for guests (hint, hint), building out the space above the yoga/dance studio, installing outdoor showers, filling the knot holes in the wood floors, smoothing out the Yoga Studio floor into a danceable surface, as well as lots of other odds and ends. The house and property seems to enjoy having all the attention and love and energy being put into it.

It is challenging to live on a property designed for retreats that desires to entertain people; when gathering in groups isn’t a good idea. We’re grateful for the visits we’ve been able to have outdoors this summer, grateful that Larry is in our “bubble” so we can share dinners and adventures with him, and we are looking forward to a time when it is safe to hug, dance, cook, sing, and laugh indoors and close together again. And hopefully all the work that we do on the property this winter, will make it even more enjoyable for people to gather again here next summer, or whenever it is safe to do so.

We count our blessings everyday for the ease and beauty in our lives, as we know that this has not been the experience for many during this pandemic. Our prayers are that everyone can find more connection, opportunity, and deep pleasure in 2021.

The end of July marks 10 months on the road, over 20,000 miles driven, and 26 states our tires rolled through. One of the many things we’ve learned from this travel is to be open to new opportunities, to go with the flow, and to let go of the need to control the plans and the outcome. One of the plans we’ve had to let go of (for now!) is to live abroad. Originally, we had hoped to travel around the U.S. for 12-18 months, and then live abroad in various countries for 3-6 months at a time.

For many reasons, we decided to not go live abroad right now. But our fantasy of living in an old farmhouse in the Italian countryside, where we could walk to the market and drink lots of red wine in unlabeled bottles, isn’t dead — rather its just evolved. An amazing opportunity presented itself (rather serendipitously, like most good things do) and we said yes.

Rather than trekking halfway across the country, we’ve found an opportunity back in the Northwest where we can be near friends and family. Rather than living in an old farmhouse, we’re living in a newer farmhouse. Rather than walking to the market, we have food growing in the garden outside our door. Rather than drinking locally-made wine, we’re set up for deep self-care (sauna, yoga space, soaking tub, forest bathing, and more).

While we’re not learning a foreign language or experiencing a different culture, we definitely are seeing a different way of living than we have for the last 10 months. We settled into the “Yoga Farm” in Vernonia, Oregon. Vernonia is about halfway between Portland and Cannon Beach (on the Oregon’s coast), and another 20 minutes north of the highway. The Yoga Farm is another 15 minutes past the tiny town down a long windy road that ends in what was an old logging town.

The girls are thrilled to be here. They love their huge attic room where they each have a nook to sleep in, looking out the dormer windows facing east and west. They love the zip line we’ve hung by the creek. They love splashing in the water on hot days. But mostly they love the animals they get to care for here: 2 golden retrievers, 2 goats, and 2 donkeys (the 2 cats mostly take care of themselves).

Mark and I are thrilled to be here too. It feels good to be stationary, to be taking care of our bodies, and to have more space (and closing doors!). It still feels like an adventure, but of an entirely different sort. Mark is looking forward to more time to read, write and think. I am looking forward to watching the seasons change and rest. And for the girls, I am excited for more “homestead” schooling — with a focus on daily life, cycles, connection to place, and self sufficiency.

We still plan to take the RV out for overnight trips as well as multi-day trips in the Northwest. We are grateful to have a vehicle that has its own bathroom and kitchen, but also its own fridge and freezer so we can take it into town to stock up on groceries.

We are navigating our desire to see local friends and the need to stay socially distanced and reduce exposure risk. It’s tricky, but we’re figuring it out as we go.

Mostly, we are filled with gratitude for the opportunity to settle here for a time, and pleasure for how much beauty with which we are surrounded.

Our dear friends Sujata and Chris met for the first time at our shared birthday party in 2000, in Muir Beach and didn’t see each other a second time until our wedding a year later. They reconnected several years after that, and now have two beautiful children together, and live in the darling beach town of Atlantic Beach outside of Jacksonville, FL. They have been high on our list of people to see as life, work, children, health issues, and more have prevented us in getting together for several years now. And once again, health challenges nearly prevented our visit. Their sweet daughter was scheduled to go in for surgery a few weeks after our scheduled visit, and we had to be extra careful about Covid.

While we all had a low to medium level anxiety about being together, it all worked out that none of us had or shared Covid with each other. And we enjoyed one full day and two partial days of walks, playing on the beach, eating together, watching the kids put on a play, visiting Suji’s parents, and just hanging out together while it rained outside. It was so great to catch up with them. And it was so nice to see the kids just drop in together and become so close, it seemed like they were cousins who’d always known each other. (And the surgery went well, and their daughter is home recovering quickly!)

Sometimes we joke that this trip is really just a tour of Leisure Travel Van repair shops. Inevitably, some small thing has broken or isn’t working… small enough to not be dangerous, but big enough to warrant heading to a repair shop. We paid our bi-monthly visit to a dealer in Wilmington, NC which required us heading back up the coast. We stopped for two nights at a Harvest Host location where the girls were able to help care for and saddle up the horses at the Equestrian Center. We were even lucky enough to secure them a horseback riding lesson.

Once we made it into Wilmington, we stayed at a KOA with a lovely warm pool. The girls and I spent the late morning in downtown Wilmington doing a tour of the historic district by horse-drawn carriage while Mark waited with the rig at the repair dealer.

As we ate ice cream by the river, we read about the tragic history of Wilmington, the home of the only coup d’etat that happened in the U.S.. It happened in 1898, when the city was majority-black, racially integrated city. Armed white paramilitary insurgents worked to suppress black and republican voting. White democrats overthrew the black and republican elected leaders, burned down the black-owned newspaper, and murdered several hundred people in the process. I never learned this story in history class, and was grateful to be able to share it with the girls to go deeper than the beautiful brick lined streets with antebellum mansions.

The van repair went quickly and they got everything done! Every dealership is surprised that we have issues since they are so well made, but being full time with four people makes for extra wear and tear. Our next big stop was Lexington, Kentucky. But to get there from Wilmington is a long drive.

We always love to stay at unique places, so when we read about a Harvest Host location that was also a mushroom farm, we made a stop. Unfortunately, the heat caused the mushrooms to go into hibernation, so we couldn’t see any of them, but we still learned a lot about how they grow mushrooms, as well as were taken on a four-wheel driving “mudding” tour of their property. The owner and his friend were a riot, and we were highly entertained by their never ending stories. The next morning we visited the local farmers market (where they sell their flowers, tomatoes, and mushrooms (when they have them), which was a delight to stock up on some delicious goodies.

Our route also took us through Charlotte, NC. We couldn’t pass up another opportunity to see Yia Yia and Opa. They decided to “break out” of their quarantine in their senior living community to meet up with us at the park. We made the most of our time together, enjoying finally being able to give hugs, hold hands, and have a snack picnic together. Such sweet time!

After leaving the heat of Charlotte, we were delighted to get into the cool weather of the mountains. We camped at Davidson River Campground for a few nights, and did a delightful hike in DuPont State Forest. We quickly realized that we’d done that same hike almost 20 years ago, the weekend that we got engaged. We did a re-take of a photo we took on a covered bridge… such a fun memory!

We loved the outdoorsy, mountain town of Brevard. We had an epic meal there after visiting an equally epic toy store. It definitely seems like the kind of town we’d like to spend more time in. We drove through Asheville and walked around their downtown for a while. Unfortunately, many things were still closed due to Covid, so we didn’t really get a full sense of the town, but we enjoyed our time. From there, we stayed in Hot Springs, a tiny little town that is on the French Broad River. The Appalachian Trail runs right through town, which is populated with some good, local restaurants as well as great hot tubs for soaking. We enjoyed checking out the town, soaking in the tubs, and hiking up the AT to take in the view of the River.

We made some good time getting to Lexington, so we stopped at Boonesborough State Park to check out the reconstructed Fort, which was once home to Daniel Boone, the frontiersman turned pop culture icon in the 1950’s. We’ve been to many historical re-enactment sites like this, so much of the information wasn’t new, but we learned some interesting details about the difference between slavery and indentured servitude.

Then it was on to our reason for being in Lexington — seeing Mark’s uncle Dave and aunt Ellen. We were able to park in their driveway and enjoy catching up with them. The first night they made a delicious dinner we all enjoyed on the patio.

The next day, Ellen took the girls horseback riding on her horse Theo. The girls were able to help with getting Theo ready and cleaned up afterwards. But, of course, they most enjoyed riding! They made major progress in their comfort and abilities. By the end, they were both able to get Theo trotting without any help!

We enjoyed dining out and getting ice cream in town. We all celebrated Father’s Day together, and Dave and Ellen even gave us a date night (first in a LONG time!). The girls really did not want to leave, so they convinced us all to stay longer, and then begged Ellen to take them riding again. They got their wish and had a great time! All of us were very sad to say goodbye after our amazing visit.

We made the quick hop to Louisville and stayed with Brian and his family. Brian and Mark were roommates in college and we hadn’t seen them in many years. The kids jumped right into being friends and all enjoyed swimming in the pool together and playing imaginary games in the playroom. The adults got some good catch up time, and we enjoyed a delicious breakfast with them in the morning before heading on the road again.

Next stop was Cincinnati, OH. We met up with Mark’s work colleague/friend, Greg. We met up with Greg downtown where he gave us a tour of a development project he is working on, and we invested in. His company is rehabbing an old building to be used as a dorm for the art college next door. The project is amazing and these art students will be getting to live in the nicest dorms I’ve ever seen.

It was particularly fun to show this project to the girls. T had heard us talking about the project and expressed interest in investing in it along with us. She committed $100 of her own money (I think she only had $108 in her account at the time) to put into the project. We are all hoping that the school can openly safely in the fall, and that the students will enjoy this beautiful, historic spaces.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the city. We walked around the Over The Rhine (OTR) area of the city, checked out the local park, and walked past beautifully renovated historic buildings. There was a gorgeous museum about the Underground Railroad that I wish we could have visited (closed for Covid). We will definitely make a return visit here sometime in the future.

Greg invited us over for dinner after our building tour. The girls got to swim in the pool and play with their new puppy (in other words, they were in heaven! Again!). It was good to get to know their family — they are so sweet and generous. They treated us to a delicious dinner and breakfast in the morning! And the girls got more puppy time! We feel so lucky to have friends like Greg!

On our way to Chicago, we made an overnight stop at a Harvest Host farm location. The girls got to hold baby chicks, feed the alpacas, and milk the goats. The farm owners were super sweet with the girls and allowed them to help out. Unfortunately, the power on the farm wasn’t strong enough to power our AC unit, so we had to move north a few miles to a campground for the night. In this heat and humidity, none of us sleep well without the AC running, so power has become a necessity.

Three days and nights in the Chicago area … we’re camped in forest preserve in Palatine that is super small and near beautiful prairie and forest land, and is FULL of fireflies at night. We’ve had a chance to do outdoor picnics, walks, and catch-ups with a number of friends who live here. We had a lovely evening with JoAnn and her husband Scott. We enjoyed a potluck dinner and watching Scott’s son perform on a “get out the vote” concert event online. We also had a great afternoon with Scott Seagren including a walk through along the bike path and deep, thoughtful conversation. Scott joined us for a visit to see Hank and Wendy and Mimi. Seeing Mimi was high on my list. She is the grandmother of my ex-boyfriend. I became very attached to her and have a deep love for her, as though she were my own grandmother. She and I have kept in touch over the last 20 years. She’s is her late 90’s so undoubtedly that will be the last time I see her. I am so grateful that I could tell her my favorite memories of traveling with her, of discovering what fresh food really tastes like by trying it in her garden, and making sure she knows how much I care about her. I am still amazed at how attached I grew to her in such a short period of time.

The last few days of the month found our tensions and emotions running high. We’re having great discussions as a family about whether we want to keep going in the same way we have been, whether we want to put down more roots again, or if we want to change our strategy. We know that we want more downtime for self-care, we want more space occasionally from each other, and we want more ease. How we are going to get that still remains to be seen. But we’re thinking and talking and wondering into what might come next for us.

By the end of the month, we’d decided to head back towards the Pacific Northwest. We’re making a stop in Colorado for a week to play at the A/U Ranch and family camp, then hopefully seeing some more friends in Colorado as we make our way north for a stop in Yellowstone. Then back to Portland and the Northwest. We miss our friends, we miss our family. We have some overdue dental appointments. When we get there, we’re planning to rent a house for a few months so we can enjoy being in routine again, and laying low while we see how the Coronavirus and the pandemic response evolves.

Before the end of May, we drove back into the world. In mid-May, we transitioned from our lakeside cabin of isolated shelter and ventured back out into a very changed, and continually changing world. We made the most of the early part of May, enjoying the steady routines (making wonderful meals, going for runs, yoga, the girls playing by themselves in the morning) we were about to leave behind.

The weather continued to swing from sunny and hot to cool and rainy. On the hot days, we played in the water. On the cool days, we watched movies or ran errands. And early May was full of celebrations: Kendall’s Mother’s Day, P’s 11th birthday, and visiting Yia Yia for her Mother’s Day.

Throughout the month, Mark was working hard bringing investors together to support a growing biopharmaceutical company. He did his best to balance work, play, and rest, but many of the days the emails and phone calls for work outweighed everything else.

We said our final goodbyes to Yia Yia, Opa, and the Mooresville Youngblood family. We cleaned and packed Spurge. And said a final goodbye to our sweet, temporary home.

We missed Spurge and the excitement of life on the road. It felt good to be close and with each other deeply again. And immediately we also missed the ease of not having to go anywhere, or figure anything out besides what to cook for dinner.

Our ultimate destination was Jacksonville, Florida to see our friends Sujata and Chris and their two kiddos. On the way there, we decided to take the opportunity to see the Outer Banks — a place neither of us had been, but had always wanted to visit.

Our trip there had us camping at wineries, state parks, and private campgrounds. We quickly discovered that with the heat and humidity of the Southeast, having power to run our air conditioner became a very necessary element of sleeping well. Once we left the cooler air on the islands, we almost always stayed somewhere we could plug in.

My favorite part of our travel is the road-schooling part, and I had missed the inputs that come from the places we visit to inform our learning while we were hunkered down on the lake. Returning to the road meant returning to visiting interesting sites. We paid a visit to the Wright Brother’s Memorial at Kitty Hawk. The night before, we watched an old docu-drama about the Brothers and their trials and eventual successes. The movie and the site visit really brought their accomplishments and struggles to life.

Once on the Outer Banks, our time was spent on beach walks, seeing the (formerly) wild horses on Ocracoke Island, visiting lighthouses, taking ferries, and exploring. We spent a lovely day on bikes exploring the town of Ocracoke and watching the rebuilding process after it was devastated by last year’s hurricane Dorian.

Back on land after a long ferry ride, we continued down the coast stopping to see the cities of Charleston and Savannah and stay on Tybee and Jekyll Islands. Our walk around Charleston and learning about the brutal history of this city, including visiting the slave mart where the domestic slave trade occurred, felt particularly relevant as Black Lives Matter protesters marched through the city the day we were there.

We have made it a point to educate the girls about the real history of America as we have traveled, and to not shy away from topics like racism, white privilege, and power. As Kristin Lin, the Editor of the On Being Project says: “Perhaps upon seeking out knowledge where our schooling falls short, we may come to understand that our history lives and breathes. As much as we’re shaped by the humans who came before us, we’re also taking part in that history, whether we know it or not.”

We made a point to see first-hand the Japanese Internment Camps at Manzanar, and where the Queen of Hawaii was imprisoned in Honolulu as the U.S. took away her people’s sovereignty. We learned about the treatment of Native Peoples at the Missions in San Antonio, and walked through the original homes and kitchens of the enslaved at a sugarcane plantation outside of New Orleans. We can’t understand where we are today, if we don’t know where we came from.

Poet Marilyn Nelson says in her interview on the On Being Podcast: “Trying to struggle with real history has been a way to learn something about who we are less personally — less who I am than who we are as a nation. What are we doing here? How is it that we have managed to persist in the blindnesses that we started out with? … How are we able to lie to ourselves like that?”

This is a poignant time in our country’s history, and it is profound to witness this groundswell while walking on the land that holds the blood, sweat, tears, and prayers of the enslaved. And if the proud display of confederate flags in the South is any indication, we still have a long way to go before we reach true equality in this country.

What a radically different month, for us, and the whole world.

We have it very, very, easy. With the exception of the nursing the kids through a nasty chest cold that started in mid-March, and is still going on, life has been happy, pleasurable, and peaceful. We know that this is not the case for many people around the globe, so we make sure to feel and acknowledge our gratitude for all that we have.

The biggest gift we have is each other. We also feel like we were provided this perfect house to shelter in. It is full of soul, has plenty of space for us, and is perched on the edge of a beautiful lake where we can swim and play. We are near Mark’s mom and step-dad, and his brother and his family so we’ve been able to enjoy some socially-distanced visits. We have infrastructure around us so we can easily restock our fridge and pantry once a week. We have a backyard, dock, and neighborhood streets where we can play outside while keeping our distance from people.

While we originally planned to stay in this house for a month, as the reservation ending approached, we decided that we were so comfortable, and enjoying ourselves so much, that we would stay for another month. Plus, in mid-April, there still was so much unknown about the virus, infection rates, when things would re-open, testing availability, etc., that we felt like it was easier to keep waiting it out.

It was so different to watch Spring come while we stayed in one place, rather than blossom as we headed south. From our window and on our walks, we watched the leaves fill in on the trees. We watched the dogwoods blossoms open and fall. We watched the irises come up, and the lake fill with water as huge spring storms dumped rain. We watched the days grow longer and the moon wax and wane.

There are so many more hours in the day when we are not spending our time driving somewhere, running errands, meeting with people, or plotting where we were going to eat, do laundry, get gas, camp, and what museum we were going to visit or what hike we are going to do. With all that extra time, we’ve put a lot of focus on self-care. Mark and I are running almost everyday (and if you really knew me, you’d know I DO NOT run unless being chased), doing yoga/stretching, and getting some vitamin-D through the sunshine. We also were invited to do an online meditation retreat by one of Mark’s friends and colleagues, which we participated in and have since kept up the daily, one-hour meditation practice. We cook almost every meal at home, except for the days when we go out to pick up groceries.

It has been nice to have Mark’s mom and step-dad nearby. They are quarantined inside their senior living community, and cannot leave, even to get groceries. It has been nice that we can help with some of the grocery shopping, and that we get weekly visits with them. Even though our visits are across a fence and more than six-feet apart, it feels good to be able to visit in person. We’ve also had a few visits with Mark’s brother, Todd, and various members of his family. A highlight was playing kick-ball with them at a nearby park. They are bitter sweet visits as we really miss giving hugs and being able to just hang out and chat. Hopefully in the near future, we can all return to hugs and sitting around the bonfire together.

We found time to work with a web developer to create a new website for Mark’s non-profit business association, Cross Pollinate (cross-pollinate.org). It feels so good to have a website up and running, especially as his efforts of connecting families have resulted in an exciting opportunity to gather families to invest in a bio pharmaceutical company. This company needs captial to expand their ability to produce proteins for antibody tests and therapeutics for Covid, along with other important drugs like insulin. Mark is working hard, on the phone a lot, has a lot of emails that always need to be written and responded to, but he feels good about the project and the people he is working with, so that excitement keeps him going.

The girls are really enjoying the slowed of pace while here. They wake up in the morning and play a few online games, or they put on an audiobook and draw or color while listening to stories. When they tire of listening to stories, they will switch to playing with dolls. They are both taking a number of classes on the outschool.com platform. They recently completed a creative writing course using role-play games, and two classes on how to draw cats and dogs. P signed up for a six week book club to read the first Harry Potter book together. In class they discuss the book, do quizzes, and generally have a good time. T is reading the final Harry Potter book, so they both really enjoy pulling the characters and themes of the Harry Potter games into their imaginative play. They even took an intro to Latin course that used Harry Potter spells and character names to introduce Latin.

Every (sunny) afternoon, we all play on the dock and in the water. The house came with two kid-sized kayaks that the girls use to paddle around our cove. When the water is calm, Mark and I will take the canoe out and the girls will join us in the kayaks. Those jaunts are always highlights for me.

We have been surprised by the amount of animals there are in this area. The domestic cows and horses have been fun neighbors, and the girls enjoy feeding carrots to the horses every couple of days. We have also seen a lot of wildlife including osprey, heron, fish, fox, and two types of snakes (one swimming in the water!).

It feels so relaxing to know we are here for another few weeks, and a little strange to start thinking about where we go next. We are not sure where we go next, and a large part has to do with what happens as the country re-opens, what happens to infection numbers, and how can we travel safely without potentially becoming spreaders of the virus as we make our way back across the country.

But until then, we are enjoying our time here and taking full advantage of the slowness to stay healthy, support a great opportunity (the one that came through Mark’s business efforts), see family a few more times, and just enjoy not having to go anywhere.