Unschooling Shoulds

One of the hardest parts of unschooling is letting go of the “should’s” — particularly should’s about the kids and what they “should” know or “should” do by this age. 

Our girls LOVE to play with dolls. When given a choice on how to spend their time, they pick playing dolls. In some ways, I love that they play with dolls as it represents so many fabulous qualities:  childhood innocence, creativity, imagination, storytelling, improvisation, and collaboration. Not to mention they do a ton of processing and integrating the experiences we have while traveling through their games.  

In other ways, I tell myself stories about their doll playing that make me afraid:  Aren’t they too old? Shouldn’t they be wanting to do something more mature? How is playing with dolls going to transfer later in life?

This internal struggle is part of my own unschooling process. I am working to find total peace with, and acceptance of, who they are, what they love, and how they want to spend their time. And to do so without fear, without the need to control, without knowing if or how it will benefit them in the future.

I asked the girls today what they like about playing with dolls. P responded, “you never know what’s going to happen!” 

Marc Bekoff, an American biologist and author says: 

“Play is training for the unexpected.”

If there is anything I’m sure of, it’s that the future will be full of the unexpected! And, of course, that’s already their favorite part!

So play on my sweet daughters. Laugh. Invent. Craft incredible stories. Go on amazing adventures. Be surprised by what happens.

And I’ll do my best not to irrupt your “best game ever!”

[And for the record, T’s laughing so hard at Ginny Weasley going to the dance with the Nimbus 2000 as her date.]